100 day ceremony
Rithy, one of our drivers, invited Lori and me to a ceremony to mark 100 days since his father's death. In the Buddhist religion this has enormous significance. For the first hundred days that you are dead you are not aware of it. After 100 days you wake up to realise that you have died. It is on this day that you have to decide which path to take. You can either decide to be reborn or go to Nirvana. Obviously, such an important decision cannot be taken lightly and you need some guidance.
So, off we went to Rithy's mothers house in the countryside not quite knowing what to expect. Rithy's family are not rich, his father was just a very small time farmer with one field and his family home was typical of most Cambodian village house being made of wood and raised up on stilts. A very grand canopy and ntrance had been erected for the party and many preparations were being made. The first thing that we were aware of as we neared the house was exceptionally loud music being transmitted through enormous speakers that towered over the house. This, I learned, was an essential part of the day because the loud music keeps the bad spirits away..
There was a wonderful display being set up under the colourful canopy. A long platform covered in rush mats was in place for the Monks to sit on when they arrived and an extraordinarily elaborate tableaux of the road leading to the enlightenment with colourful pictures all around. There were flowers and a table covered in offerings to give to the monks. There were table and chairs for about 100 people and a classical orchestra was in place for the serious part of the ceremony. There were fairy lights everywhere as the family are lucky enough to have a generator. There is no mains electricity in the countryside.The taped music was coming from a wall of speakers as tall as the roof and a huge bank of staggeringly complicated music players. Of course, you have to realise that everything is Cambodian style so if you are thinking English garden wedding think again. But it all looked wonderful and the welcome we got from Rithy's mother and the rest of his large family was exceptionally warm. Enough food was being prepared to feed most of Cambodia in the outside 'kitchen' There were 8 earth ovens with giant woks on them with all manner of delicious things being cooked and an army of people chopping and grinding under the canopy. Rithy's wife, four year old son and new baby daughter were keeping cool under the house and it was all very relaxed waiting for the main part of the ceremony when the monks arrived.
One of the most wonderful things to see was the model of a house for the deceased depicting everything that he would dream of having for his next life. It was very elaborate and well made, there are people who make a living providing these. Rithy's Dad's house was large,on stilts, of course and contained a large smiling photograph of him. The other things it had were beautiful furniture inside, a big bed, comfortable chairs and a big television which had a large aerial on the roof. There was a swimming pool, a motorbike under a canopy, a helicopter, a large golden (cardboard) Lexus in the driveway a guard for the house, a man carrying a hose which meant he would have irrigation and so be able to get two rice harvests, a woman cleaning and a large suitcase with everything that he would need for the next life. There was also, a bowl of rice, a bowl of biscuits and a glass of water plus a bottle of his favourite, vivid green, fizzy drink. All bases were covered. and it was so very moving to see it. At the end of the ceremony it is burned and the flames take everything to him. There was also a separate shine with a neat pile of freshly washed clothes for his next life.
When it was almost time for the Monk's to arrive all the close female family members rushed to put on their best clothes and the men put on matching, new smart shirts. Huge numbers of people started to arrive, the whole community turns out. The family are very devout Buddhists and very involved with the Pagoda and so no less that 10 monks arrived and sat on the platform. Little trays were placed in front of each of hem covered in flower petals with a bottle of water and some sweets. All the close family, dozens of them, sat on mats in front of the Monk's and the main part of the ceremony started. There was much chanting and Rithy's Mum chanted in praise of her husband saying what a good man he had been. She chanted his whole life story, which, being n Khmer, we couldn't understand, sadly. There was then lots of Monkly chanting and then all the Monk's filed out again All the while the women were carrying a lotus flower in the air. After this everyone sat down to eat the feast that had been prepared and so it went on.
It was a deeply touching thing to have been allowed to be a part of and we could not have been made to feel more welcome by everyone Rithy and his mother kept thanking us for being there but really we were the grateful ones.
So, off we went to Rithy's mothers house in the countryside not quite knowing what to expect. Rithy's family are not rich, his father was just a very small time farmer with one field and his family home was typical of most Cambodian village house being made of wood and raised up on stilts. A very grand canopy and ntrance had been erected for the party and many preparations were being made. The first thing that we were aware of as we neared the house was exceptionally loud music being transmitted through enormous speakers that towered over the house. This, I learned, was an essential part of the day because the loud music keeps the bad spirits away..
There was a wonderful display being set up under the colourful canopy. A long platform covered in rush mats was in place for the Monks to sit on when they arrived and an extraordinarily elaborate tableaux of the road leading to the enlightenment with colourful pictures all around. There were flowers and a table covered in offerings to give to the monks. There were table and chairs for about 100 people and a classical orchestra was in place for the serious part of the ceremony. There were fairy lights everywhere as the family are lucky enough to have a generator. There is no mains electricity in the countryside.The taped music was coming from a wall of speakers as tall as the roof and a huge bank of staggeringly complicated music players. Of course, you have to realise that everything is Cambodian style so if you are thinking English garden wedding think again. But it all looked wonderful and the welcome we got from Rithy's mother and the rest of his large family was exceptionally warm. Enough food was being prepared to feed most of Cambodia in the outside 'kitchen' There were 8 earth ovens with giant woks on them with all manner of delicious things being cooked and an army of people chopping and grinding under the canopy. Rithy's wife, four year old son and new baby daughter were keeping cool under the house and it was all very relaxed waiting for the main part of the ceremony when the monks arrived.
One of the most wonderful things to see was the model of a house for the deceased depicting everything that he would dream of having for his next life. It was very elaborate and well made, there are people who make a living providing these. Rithy's Dad's house was large,on stilts, of course and contained a large smiling photograph of him. The other things it had were beautiful furniture inside, a big bed, comfortable chairs and a big television which had a large aerial on the roof. There was a swimming pool, a motorbike under a canopy, a helicopter, a large golden (cardboard) Lexus in the driveway a guard for the house, a man carrying a hose which meant he would have irrigation and so be able to get two rice harvests, a woman cleaning and a large suitcase with everything that he would need for the next life. There was also, a bowl of rice, a bowl of biscuits and a glass of water plus a bottle of his favourite, vivid green, fizzy drink. All bases were covered. and it was so very moving to see it. At the end of the ceremony it is burned and the flames take everything to him. There was also a separate shine with a neat pile of freshly washed clothes for his next life.
When it was almost time for the Monk's to arrive all the close female family members rushed to put on their best clothes and the men put on matching, new smart shirts. Huge numbers of people started to arrive, the whole community turns out. The family are very devout Buddhists and very involved with the Pagoda and so no less that 10 monks arrived and sat on the platform. Little trays were placed in front of each of hem covered in flower petals with a bottle of water and some sweets. All the close family, dozens of them, sat on mats in front of the Monk's and the main part of the ceremony started. There was much chanting and Rithy's Mum chanted in praise of her husband saying what a good man he had been. She chanted his whole life story, which, being n Khmer, we couldn't understand, sadly. There was then lots of Monkly chanting and then all the Monk's filed out again All the while the women were carrying a lotus flower in the air. After this everyone sat down to eat the feast that had been prepared and so it went on.
It was a deeply touching thing to have been allowed to be a part of and we could not have been made to feel more welcome by everyone Rithy and his mother kept thanking us for being there but really we were the grateful ones.
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